Wide or Kindle Unlimited?

camel-4306242_1920I figure it’s pretty important to tell you right off the bat that I’m wide and here to stay. And I’m not just talking about my body type, though that’s equally true. Granted I’d appreciate less chaffing between the legs, if you know what I mean?

Let’s just be vulgar and all tmi up in this place. If you want to read what I have to say, it might as well be authentic. Boring people can go elsewhere. I have far too much fun laughing at myself to reign it in.

Anyway, I decided to publish my books wide, forever, like that Sandlot movie. For-e-ver. For-e-ver. If you don’t get that references, you’re killin’ me smalls, but please stay because you’re probably a teenager and I write YA (young adult for all you fogies).

Good job; let’s offend everyone!

Nah, but seriously, I don’t care how old or young you are, I’d love to have you here. And hey, I’m a multi-genre author, so chances are I’ve written something you’d like. I mostly focus on young adult, but I have some new adult fantasy and some adult thrillers and romances. I’m gonna dive into pretty much everything but westerns and poetry, though you never know.

Like I said, my books are wide. All you have to do is click the books tab on the menu bar then buy now and it’ll take you to my author profile that has all my books along with links for everywhere you can get them. Plus you can read all the descriptions and see what the newest releases.

Another awesome tab is the newsletter tab. That’s where you’ll find out about any sales I have going on and get a bunch of other cool stuff. If you want even more of me, you should click my social media link in the Author Bio section on the sidebar. I highly recommend all my groups, but I’m totally bias.

Lastly, I’ve got a bunch of cool stuff like excerpts and book playlist on my publisher site (also linked in the author bio). Everything is super easy to find in the tabs.

That’s enough authorsplaining. I’ve got a pizza to eat–Hell yeah a whole one! ($1 store-bought, but still good even if they did run out of pepperoni!)–and an episode of Community to watch with my hubs.

Bye, suckas!

Hehe ~ Heather

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